Isaiah 40:31~ But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Made it Through Another School Year

Today was Max's last day of elementary school. I haven't been able to read him for the past few weeks when trying to figure out his feelings about leaving the only school building he's ever known. Change isn't easy for kids on the spectrum. Max could be the poster child.

Today he was released with his classmates early in the day and by the time we were home... just a 2 minute drive, he was in tears. He was angry with his dad, angry with me, everything we said was wrong, we'd taken too many photos, there was too much talking, and he wasn't going to leave the house again today. "I can't go!"... "I won't go!"... he yelled. It wouldn't have mattered what was going on around him, or what we were planning for the day, at that point it would have been wrong... just too much for him to think about at that moment. He was too busy processing.

His emotions were up and down for the next couple hours. We had an appointment at 2:30 with his child psychiatrist. Knowing he had to go see her bothered him. It wasn't a fun trip... meant he had to talk about his feelings, and meant going to an uncomfortable building. He's told me her building makes him feel weird.

After we'd returned home I told him we had to run a couple errands which would only take about an hour. After much crying and screaming he realized I wasn't going to change my mind and picked up a chair as if to hit me with it. He made fists at me and screamed that he hated living here. He ran up to his room and threw things at the door and screamed at the top of his lungs. By that time I'd told him he'd lost his computer for 2 days. That only elevating his tantrum. More screaming, throwing things at his door, throwing things across the living room, pounding on the table where the computers rest when no one is using them, and telling me how awful his life is, how horrible I am and telling me he won't do what I want him too... that he will use his computer and I can't stop him. Then to his restroom where he eventually calmed down and cried softly.

About 20 minutes later, he was sorry, wanted to hug me, then went to the living room couch and grabbed a blanket. I started dinner and found him moments later sound asleep. It was only 6:00. My son doesn't go to sleep at 6:00 unless he's sick. Poor guy. This has obviously been a hard week for him after all.
    In a few short months he'll be attending middle school. A new beginning, all new classrooms and teachers. A new floor plan alone is going to take a toll on him. Then there are the dreaded locker combinations to contend with. He'll have two. One for books and another for PE. If he were to pick up an instrument, which he's assured me he will not, he'd also pick up a 3rd locker. Classes will change hourly, he'll have to learn an entire new routine, and although most of his friends will be at the new school, the student population with be significantly larger than what he's accustomed to. There's no telling if any of his friends will be in class with him. What's more... will his friends now be his friends then?

    So many unknowns. So much for him to have to process and prepare for.
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      1 comment:

      1. I was wondering how Max is doing with his new school? Our son (8) was just recently (well, formally) diagnosed with a mild form of Aspergers. I stumbled across your site in doing my research. Thank you so much for your blog. Ive found your stories so interesting and comforting at the same time.
        Anyway, I hope that Max is adjusting ok to his new surroundings. God Bless!
        ~Michael

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